Back to Rivers of Belief or 15 years of Ilm

Hello dear brothers and sisters,
I know ya might be more concerned with your own lives, but i feel that i must share this with you.
The happy news is that it occured to me this Friday, that today is my 15th month of Ilm :)
That's Right, my first attended Feast ever was on October 16( or maybe day before or day later)
1995 :) 15 years of seeing different faces ie you around too. Ya might ask, how do i Know?

Well, prepare the time capsule and set the date on year 1995: I first met first bahai ever in Early months of 95, and his name
was Sol(SUN), dear Sol Morey. I was taking part of Red Cross Youth Group activites when met him in English club he conducted. I didnt know anything about his Bahai bacground, minus the fact that he had to be late to the Club to break fast in the month of Fasting. At that time I knew that so do folks i was familiar with, Muslims. I hadnt met any Bahai by my knowledge of course, up to that point.
Well, I did saw half of Interview with Kevin Wilson and his wife( who were pioneering in my lovely town before) by Mark Soosaar, but that doesnt count, since i dont remember bahai mentioned there and i learned of that later, that i saw the Kevin Wilson and the Family. Anyway, i got aquinted with lots of bahais in April 95. Though on 1st of April, in Aprils Fools Party at Morey's house they didnt come foward with that :) My First fireside was on some weeks later as I have copy of Esselmonts BaNE signed with date around that time. I really was attracted to hospitality and friendliness of Sol and Nayyan Morey so i kept visting them and events, well minus some time in summer due to graduation, trying to get into universities etc. And I felt that Faith makes sense to me and thats what ive always seen so, that there is one source for all major religions and Bahai is like that last missing puzzle piece that needs to be there to complete the picture and in this time religion.
I didnt declare until beginning of October or maybe end of September. All i know that it was around that time and it gotta be Friday( Firesides day then at Moreys) before october the 7th. Because according to one newsletter i have from the Teaching Comittee of Estonian Baha'is they mention among many happy joins( 9) there were 2 from Pärnu( one of them one certain young man ;) that they were happy to talk about. Guess when this timeframe starts? Ridvan time 1995, April. And what made my then to be future brothers and sisters happy was that there was prayer campaign then which aim was to turn many thirsty souls to the Baha'u'llah, says that newsletter in kirillitsa :) and at least some responded :) But you know, Friends, i didnt have a plan initially to become the one :)

I dont remember much from the day of conversion, other than it was Fireside and i acted as translator between Sol and Nayyan and man called Valdo( he became bahai too, though he has left this mortal realm some time ago). i vaguely remember there was something to do with question of how one becomes bahai or declaration cards. All i know that since it was that easy( no rituals, minus the signing of the card haha) and that i had taken in lots of dozes of love bombs :)(but better those, than those that rocked Estonian towns in wild 90ies) and since all that made sense to me, i become the one and that other man too. :) So i signed that being quite green to the Bahai, had that butterfly feeling, floating in air, that its great and nobody would object :) But like i would have done that anyway ;) ie ask other people on that moment. Who do you need to ask, if you know for sure that youre in any type of love! So i started on my journey and coming back to the Feast of Ilm, you know its so significant that exactly that month is start of my active bahai involvment. Knowldege has been my deepest passions. Was, is and will be forevermore. What is curious enough is i only know that it must have been month of Ilm, because before the LSA of Pärnu was elected, for short time Sol used to write reciepts for recieved donations at the Feasts and ive kept those i got in an Envelope, the first one is signed as for month of Ilm :)
If i remember correctly LSA of Pärnu was elected and formed bit later, April 1996

What followed can be described with some sentences from Welcoming letter of 24.oct.95 from Regional Spiritual Assembly of Bahais of Baltic States where our dear Foad( Heart) who served as Secretary wrote following words that are pretty timeless:
"Becoming a Baha'i is just the beginning of an eternal (Khaledoun :)))) journey towards spiritual perfection. With help of Holy Words of God, His grace, our prayers, our Institutions, our Community and our Baha'i friends, we gradually go foward and realise the ideals of Baha'u'llah in our lives. Looking at the situation in the world, outside the Baha'i Community, we realise this process will not be easy but higly rewarding" Looking back, its been quite a journey and i must say it hasnt been always easy one indeed. and there was a time when i wasnt striving towards that direction

But here i am, at this day, at this milestone, 15 years behind me, like a teenager who has reached symbolic age of maturity. last many years ive been either away or on crossroads. or walking in shallow waters of great ocean, right on the beach since last summer. Since last summer ive felt this drive for comeback, but ive had some issues to sort out. Today i have decided. I want no longer be person who just goes to garage and expects to become a car :))))))) It time to go to spiritual car factory again and fix the car. and whats the use of automobile, if it is mobile ie on road? Ive decided that i can try to find solutions and answers to my thelogical and philosophical questions while on the journey.

I have wanted for some time to ask you if i can do anything to contribute to Community work? I have several skills, hobbies and ideas that can be put in use. and even if i have kid now, im sure time can be found that i can do thing or two. or take the kid in some cases with me. if possible do involve me. I give you some suggestions: anything to do with cooking-baking, kidz, study circles, writing, translating, dealing with persons with disabilities, listening, issues that need paitience and peacemaking, poetry, history, religions, organizing and coordinating for start. Let me know, and i shall see what will work out.

And Id be grateful to get Anna's Presentaton in estonian and or English in any form possible. i would of curse need to Practice it first, since its been a while, maybe im still little rusty :P but i guess i can ask pärnu folks at the feast today. oh, and i m missing Ruhi 4 from my portfolio, if anybody anytime does that let me know, ill see first if in Pärnu, secon option would be Tallinn.
What else...youth stuff, maybe we could kick off something like in Talinn, devotional and cinema or somthing else, i do have some friends, ive told one about Parviz weekend and that its faith related. i have a feeling that i could introduce him little more, but ill ask him first. but movie night is an idea, maybe sometimes some youth( ex Nabil, Dan, A, Tiina etc) can come over and we can have spiritual and fun event. Pärnu is lovely town at any time of the year :) I can be your voluntary Ivan Sussanin the guide
,but one that doesnt lead you astray :). I also have great friend in Viljandi, he is quite familiar with bahais, he was in bahai and has been away, hanging around in one church, but he's friendly and talkative, and i think he wouldnt mind seeing some bahais again
, he knows some people in Cultural sector in Viljandi. And Viljandi is also great town to go! Does anybody know,in what state Narva is? I havent been there for ages...maybe we should pay them a visit some time, do something. I know Harjumaa is priority cluster, but let me know is there any room or how practical that would be to do something youthwise or otherwise elsewhere. would be great to get some more youth, next to young at heart and eternal youth..Also, i wondered is ther any room for events that could involve youths from baltics. doesnt have to be formal but something that builds ties and is co-opeational or study part and fun part, like we had in Riga 7 years ago in dec-january? ok...im now off to bed..
Hope you had great feast of Ilm or if you still havent have a great Feast of Ilm!
let me know where we can cooperate,pl, its been pleasure and honour to be around you last 15 years See you around for at least next 40- eternity years :) Inshallah, of course :D

Something i read recently....
Magnificat by Fernando Pessoa and music by John Sebastian Bach-enjoy!

PS! I know im not perfect still, but if you all mentally, spiritually or any way support me, then we can move the mountains.
PS! if any doubt, then rememeber that i was person who DID go back to Pärnu upon my word and after asking advice from NSA in year 2003 :) and i feel confident enough to not make these letters here hollow, otherwise ill be Fool on the Hill. :)
PS! those not in Estonia now, i hope you didnt find too left out at the end :) i just felt that i had to include you to share the story