november 24, 2009

somebody to love by queen

Can Anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up, I die a little
Can't barely stand on my feet
(Take a look at yourself) I take a look in the mirror (In the mirror) and cry (And cry)
Lord what you're doing to me? (Yeah, yeah)
I have spent all my years in believing you (Ooh, believing you)
But I just can't get no relief, lord
Somebody, (Somebody), oh somebody (Somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work (He works hard) every day of my life
I work 'till I ache my bones
At the end (At the end of the day) I take home (Goes home) my hard earned pay all on my own
(Goes home on his own)
I get down (Down) on my knees (Knees) and I start to pray (Praise the lord)
'Till the tears run down from my eyes, lord (Ooh, lord)
Somebody (Somebody), ooh somebody (Please)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

(He works hard) Everyday (Everyday)
And I try and I try and I try
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
I got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe (He's got nobody left to believe)

(Ooh lord)
Oh Somebody, ooh (Somebody)
Anybody find me somebody to love?
(Anybody find me someone to love? )
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat (You just keep losing and losing)
I'm ok, I'm alright (He's alright, he's alright)
I ain't gonna face no defeat (Yeah, yeah)
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, lord (One day I'm gonna be free, lord)

Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love (Find me, find me, find me)
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love (Somebody, somebody, somebody)
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody find me, somebody find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love? Somebody to love?
(Find me somebody to love)
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me somebody, somebody (find me somebody to love) somebody, somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me, find me, find me, find me, find me
Ooh- somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
(Find me somebody to love)
Find me, find me, find me somebody to love
(Find me somebody to love)
Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love!
Find me, find me, find me love.

november 17, 2009

Parable on fear

There was once a strong and inquisitive young man who loved to travel.
In his thirst for for knowledge he moved from place to place,
drinking in wisdom and recording everything that happened to him.
Eventually, he came to a beautiful village slumbering at the foot of a mountain
surrounded on all sides by green hills where gentle winds blew intermittenly,
delighting the mind and refreshing the heart. In this beautiful place, he was
schocked to see that the inhabitants of this village were sad. They moved sluggishly,
dragging their feet. To him they appeared no more than moving phantoms, without body or soul.
The sight of these phantoms terrified him. He became determined to discover what made them so
and set off to a fabled wise man who lived alone, in a hut, cut off from village and its inhabitants.
When he met the wise man, he asked what secret lay behind this great paradox. He asked why these
people lived in a state of subjugation and dejection in a village where everything would seem to
suggest that the people would be blessed with happiness and well-being. The sage came out of his hut
and pointed at bhe top of the mountain. "Look at that peak. An enormous ogre sits up there. From where it sits,
he raves and shrieks, filling peoples heart with fear by threatening to gobble the them up if they leave their
homes or do any kind of work at all. The people terrorized by his shrieks, can live only by stealth
Only their survival instinct keeps them going. They steal out like mice in secret to gather enough to keep body and
soul together. They live day by day, waiting impatiently for the moment of their death. Their fear of this ogre has
sapped their intellect and depleted their physical powers, reducing them to despair and hoplessness."

The young man thought for a while and said, "Im going to the top of the mountain. I will talk to this ogre and ask
why he wants to prevent from them leading their lives in peace and safety."

"Go up to the top of the mountain? No sane person would risk his life by daring to meet the ogre. I implore you
not to do it for the sake of your life, young man!" But the young man would not be dissuaded. He was determined to
do what he believed had to be done. And so, with slow but sure steps he started on his way to the peak.

When young man reached the peak. the ogre did, indeed seem large at first; however, what he found as he walked on
astonished him. The closer he got, the smaller the ogre became. By the time he arrived he found this great ogre who
terrorized many was smaller than his littlest finger. The young man flattened his hand, held out his palm and the
tiny ogre jumped onto it.
"Who are you?" the young man asked.
"I am Fear," the ogre replied
"Fear of what?" the young man asked
That depends on who you are. How each person sees me depends how he imagines me. Some people fear illness, and
they see me as disease. Others fear poverty, so they see me as poverty. Othes fear authority, so they see authority
in me. Some fear injustice, others wild beasts or storms, that's how i appear to them. He who fears the water
i appear as a torrent, he who fears war percieves in me an army, ammunition or suchlike."
"But why they do see you as bigger than you really are?"
"To each person i appear as big as is his fear. As long as they refuse to approach and confront me they will never know
my true size."

november 13, 2009

Kuu on õige päike-new record

Today i slept until 16.00 :D at day
im making progress, new record
today is i see... 3rd night i stay up until 5 something. so naturally isleep during day
baaaad thing that i have slept in....embarassing when it happens at workday, two days in a row.
bit more ok on rest day only thing, my biological clock is messed up then. so here i am
not daring go to sleep cauze at 7 i need to go to work :D

but im yaaaawning........zzzzzzleeeep in evening

i saw bahais todays, pärnu community is really small. but i dont mind smalll gatherings.
i prefer them actually. it was birthday of the Bahaullah today

november 11, 2009

Perfume (book) by Süskind

i went on book shopping spree, i also got myself Peter Süskind's Perfume, Story of a murderer.
I wasnt aware of that book, till i saw the title of it on Tiina's readed books list in Facebook. I like to know what books, especially good ones mu friends and aquintances have read. I have recently seen a film version of it, so that also got me wanting to know how book is written.
Book is thrilling though, for looong time, i got shivers on skin in warm room....and although i sounds like cliche that i say over and over, the books descriptivness beats movie anytime :)
but i guess its just me :)
looking foward of finishing book

more wierd dreams

let me see, ive seen two people i know, no make it 3.
then there was mall scene of escalators...remnant being using escalator last day?
where little boys where changing people 2 kroons for using escalator, but instead of using one to go down , they used one going up, and people were walking down that upcoming escalator
oh...I HAD VERY GAY DREAM part, i wonder what that means.
WAS afraid to tell that person, that i saw him in such dream. VERY BIZARRE

november 05, 2009

paranoid mind

How to get to them?
they seem to be kinda religious toooo:)
a chosen ones, but they do point to things that
some are so true.
how far they have the truth though?

oktoober 30, 2009

Latvian "metorite"

"An elaborate publicity stunt by a Swedish mobile phone company involving a faked meteorite strike in a Latvian meadow has provided a new case study on how a marketing campaign can backfire.Tele2 on Tuesday promised to reimburse the Baltic nation for the cost of sending military units and scientists to investigate a 10 metre-wide crater that appeared near the Estonian border after locals reported seeing a streak of light cross the sky on Sunday.The Stockholm-based company admitted it had dug the hole and burned chemicals at its base to create the impression of a smouldering meteorite crater.News of the apparent strike attracted worldwide media attention on Monday as Latvian security forces cordoned off the area to conduct radiation tests.A spokesman for Tele2's Latvian unit said the stunt had been intended to distract attention from the country's economic crisis and give people something "creative and exciting" to talk about.But the Latvian government, battling against the deepest recession in the European Union, was not amused and said it would cut its contract with the company in protest."The Interior Ministry doesn't want to do business with a firm that promotes itself at our expense," said Linda Murniece, interior minister.Scientists grew sceptical as they started inspecting the symmetrically shaped, 3m-deep pit and cynics questioned why a camera crew had been on hand to video the smoking crater.Pernilla Oldmark, spokesman for Tele2 in Stockholm, said the stunt had been intended to kick off a forthcoming marketing campaign. "The message will become clear as soon as the concept is launched," she said, while apologising for the disruption caused.Ms Murniece accused Tele2 of "cynical mockery" at the expense of Latvians and police said they were launching a formal investigation that could lead to criminal charges. "

thru the fallen leaves

thru the fallen leaves

I love this time of year. Today i walked over bridge an half an hour ago or so, and you could see sun setting over river of Pärnu at the canvas of dark sky, murky river flowing, and smoke coming from chimneyis permating the air, like there would be fire somewhere, but no, its because winter will be soon here and people burn wood in fireplaces. Leaves are fallen almost, today they were crispy a bit and i was walking thru them today at Vasa park near Theatre and river, longing to hear their sah-sah-sah sound beaneath my feet. :)

oktoober 26, 2009

Sinine esmasp'ev

Blue monday...tired...lazy...should do something
today i dissassembled Angeelika\s bed
lots of renovation in the way,
do some thing do
do i talk sense?
been listening to vennaskond lately
not up to discussion
next time maybe
vanaks hakkan j''ma

oktoober 19, 2009

Election results

Mayor Viisitamm or Tuneoak and Co has been dethoned, new force is called Toomas whose English name would be Stonehill hehe. looks like center party will go into opposition. K party got just 8 places and needles to say, that my boss didnt get in to.

Pärnus võitis valimised Toomas Kivimägi valimisliit (69)
18.10.2009 20:14
Pärnu Postimees

Pärnus võitis valimised Toomas Kivimägi valimisliit, mis kogus 35,6% hääletamas käinudte toetuse..

Toomas Kivimägi valimisliit kogus 7035 häält, mis annab 33kohalises volikogus 14 kohta.
Keskerakond kogus 4314 häält (8 kohta).
Reformierakond kogu 2807 häält (5 kohta).IRL kogus 2457 häält (4 kohta).
Sotsiaaldemoktraatlik erakond on kogunud 1309 häält (2 kohta).Teised erakonnad, valimisliidud ja üksikkandidaadid volikogusse ei pääse.Valimisliit Aus Pärnu kogus 740 häält, üksikkandidaat Koit Pikaro 361 häält, Eesti Iseseisvuspartei 289 häält, Rohelised 182 häält, valimisliit Uus Õiglane Jõud 104 häält, valimisliit 99 häält ja üksikkandisaat Andro Roos 24 häält.
Pärnu linnas käis valimas 19 783 inimest.
5 protsendi künnis, millega valimistel kandideerinud nimekiri volikogusse pääses oli 986,05.

oktoober 18, 2009

bosses call at election day

that was bit odd
i m still laughing
i just recieved call from my boss, who belongs to one party, he is running for local town assembly these elections.
and asked wheter i have any problems of going to elect , is ther need to transport ther and back, raining etc. i said not thankss, i already did or done it /Tehtud juba hehe
he said thanks
like i did elect him LOL
i voted for person i knew from diffrent green colored party emblem list, from real greens list.
not the one that starts like first letter of my name in Latin wink wink

the most funny thing is that he didnt realize that polling station is just across road from my house hehe, no rain can stop me to cross the street. i was at net place next to it hehe

Wierd dreams

Im going through interesting phase, wierd dreams. I dreamt Nabil and I meeting girl, who decided to take bull by its hirns so to speak. She climbed on him( laps) and then raised my laptop bag, saying a la we leave it here :) lol. After i protested that was really mine, she looked at me and said resolutly that i can go to my own girl hehe. i dont know what that means, maybe i just want get Nabil lucky :P

and then i saw Dan too, in pub or cafe, and he was saying to you can hang ariound, but dont say anything or something like that..

I started to interperet own earlier dream, using bit astrology hehe. im suspecting that russian estonian speaking girl who hugged me on street and had hypnotic eyes could be Scorpio, at least thats one book claims that scorpio women has hypnotic looks. but maybe its just a dream hehe. some things in astrology abt people seem to be true. anyways there is one scorpio in horizon, but its too early to say that anything will happen... otherwise ususal work, and meeting Angeelika time to time, house renovation, meeting and calling friends.

Today is local goverment assembly day in Parnu, i went to the polll that either elect some one of greens or indipendants or election unions. at the election place i saw Viive Ollo\s name, and i said to myself, now thats a familar name. and turned out she was. so i voted for her

september 28, 2009

Bicycle KALLE


Nab is best or ne imei sto rublei a imei sto druzei :)

even if i argue with him :)
ne imei sto rublei a imei sto druzei :)
thanks dear friends for the weekend

15 years from Estonia

and today is also Kadris Birthday
and Brigit Bardot was born this day

Estonian Honorary consul in Texas
watch from minute 11:00

september 13, 2009

Family matters at in Estonia

Rein Taageepera said in one show, Kahekõne(Dialogue) a thought
that Estonian women would probably give birth to more kids if
they would be sure that man will stay beside them for raising kids 20years
issue being a security
and that is a problem
although ive seen women who has give birth more than 3 kids while men change.

and it was claimed that in Aunaste show
about familyrelations that ca 60-70 percents of Kids asked in one study that there is violence
and people yell at each other in their families here in Estonia

september 12, 2009


Väga lahe :) oli

Väga Lahe teater :) Nägin eile GEP( Gorjatshie Estonskie Parni) lavastust ETV'st ja naersin sydamest. See on sama hea kui AXIS OF EVIL Comedy Tour( otsige YOUTUBest) Hea eneseiroonia ja sisekaemus eestluse, iibe, rahvusluse, kultuuri, mehe ja ...naiseks olemise, eksistensi ja inimsusesse jne

I recommend this
I saw GEP on ETV yesterday, iwas laughing from heart
though you need good command of estonian and russian and probably to live in Estonia or post soviet eastern slash noth eastern europe to get some points
Its as good as Axis of Evil comedy tour( see youtube) Good selfirony and inside look into matters on nationality, survival, culture, being man or woman, fertility rate, population, society, human, existence, etc

September in history

Some events in world History :D

Gloomy ones:

1st of september 1939 Third Reich invades Poland, followed by Soviet Union on 17th , WW2 Begins

7th of september 1893- Ironclad monitor of Czarist Russia Navy sinks in Baltic Sea, Gulf of Finland, all crew perished

9 years later( 1902) the Monument to it is erected, in Tallinn, Estonia

9 september 1976- Death of Mao Zedong

9 september 1087- Death of Willam The Conqeror

4, 9, 13, 16th september 1999- Russian apartment buildings explosions, pretext of 2nd Chechen war

11.september 2001-Hijacked planes?, WTC collapse, Pentagon wall collapse and Pennsylvania plane crash,

TV( CNN etc) playing almost all day looong movielike scenes from Twin Towers, and and interview with Taliban Afghanistan official( and i was thinking to myself then, this means war, big time, will they go after them?; why do they show Afghan offical? If I remember rightly, they were asking about Osama's wherabouts.?) And didnt they name culprit right after the event? That movie about people being trapped in WTC made later , showed a guy, who mentions that it must be Al Qaida, they are terrorists. :)

28th of September 1994- Motorferry Estonia sinks in Baltic Sea.


Music: 10th of september 1984- Hammer to fall , song of Queen of album The Works is Released :)

though song has reference to mushroom cloud and mortality of us all


10th of September : I was born :)

12th: Leelo, My bro's current GF :)

22nd : Angeelika :)

28th: Kadri :) Ex-GF

Other life events

1st of 09 1984- I go to first Grade here in Estonia, after not being admitted to go 2nd Grad. GRRRRR..not fitting the criteria etc. I became pupil or traineee of Soviet propaganda institution called School, Pärnus 5th 8 classes School :) Later 9th class was added and Later it was called Pärnu Rääma( towndistrict) Elementary School

september 10, 2009

Jesus Age :)

im 33 :D

Thanks for all congrats!
Tomorrow ill post this days in history :)

Daay before 9 11

money missing from certain western military commaand branch...

september 07, 2009


I will see her again :)
my child will be soon here :)

How to solve dilemmas

Beats me...
If i want to fully return to Bahai, then i have some issues.
GBLT support or symphaty for them as human beings issues?
Being Logical and yet choosing religion again?
Can I make balance?
Heart and mind?
Give Ceasar that is Ceasars' and God what is God's?
Is afterlife and God real?
Yet i pray at times :D, feels natural at times:)
Is there more suitable religion?
Can we pick and chooce?
Why nudity is worse than picture of corpse in TV screen?
doesnt it all depend on motives of people?
etc. etc?
questions, i neeed answers...
i d love to do something with bahais , to hang around them etc
they are decent bunch, but can i go full way?
i need to solve the riddles

What do you think?

I saw Aunaste's new show, What do you think? thats a title
Mida teie arvate? Its a talkshow with some acting sketches describing
situation. that time it was what do you do as parent or grandparent
living in Estonia( or elswhere), when your child brings to family person from different
colour or bacground. Would that be a problem or how one reacts to that as average estonian?
I see it could be a problem to some, also estonians are small as a nation. we want to protect ourselves from being vanished. And some people are also bit too much afraid of foreigners or racist. There are reasons for that.historical etc. but i think people shouls be openminded and we should grown our own population too :) People are people, no matter what colour they are.
There was opininion voiced that, people wont become tolerant until we work on bringing about ...dont remember exactly but something about humaness and character...something along these lines
Would Estonia be ready for bigger scale of immigration and diffrences of futher Multikulti society? Some would, some wont, of course we dont live like in sweden yet...
but there are different nations here as well.

That Guy is a Fag :P

Last week i had nice, interesting incident. I was sitting on a bench next to medow next Vallikraav and Käär( in english thats the place where it usede to be old town city wall, with fortifications and bastions and moat around it, nowadays there is place in that curve that open field concerts are held)
listening to music. It was Go LiVE annual concert sponsored by one mobile company. I was sitting there and listening to Ines, i need to rest after some walk. And then those some guys passed me, just some guys, young, didnt know them.

And Then one of them ponted at me talking to other saying

See poiss on Pede :P
That boy is Fag :P
Like hello...shrugs... i carried on sitting, why should i get mad :D
If i am so what? But I feel that im attracted to girls :)
More...for sure :)
But dont it makes you to wonder how easy we tag people. label without really knowing them?

september 04, 2009

Relaxing Hub: What Love Means To Age 4 To 8 Year Old Children

This is  Priceless :))

Found it thanks to Tiina...

Relaxing Hub: What Love Means To Age 4 To 8 Year Old Children

Shared via AddThis


Kõik on uus  septembrikuus...?

Head alanud Kooliaastat !


Ei ole mõtet kiruda ega vanduda, ma arvan ma tulen sest olukorrast välja.  Üritan, küsin endale lisapäevi kui võimalik ja ma võtan nats avanssi , aga nii et järgmine kuu midagi kaaa alles on :) Muidu back to square one :)

Olukord in kyll pisut keeruline, aga mitte lootusetu. Parem töökoht lahendaks olukorra,  aga eks ma vaatan mida praeguses olukorras teha saab. Laenata ei tahaks.  Katus peakohal ja toit laual on olemas, nii et pole hullu. Nüüd vaataks kas saab olukorda parandada, realistlikust vaatepunktist lähtudest...

Wyatt tegi ette paneku et kui ta oma restorani voi ms teeb et ma voiks olla mänedzer, Tegelikult ma mingil määral olen ju seda juu teinud, ma pean endasee rohkem uskuma ja tegema asju.  Muidugi Wyatti restoran ei pruugi niipea reaalsuseks saada  ga ma tegelikult olen  ju asju hallanud, inimestega suhelnud,  ma mõtlen om sekretäri kogemust, seda ei saa küll paberile panna, religioosne värk on Eestis veits tundlik. Ma saa öelda aga et ma sellega yldse hakkama ei saaks kui ma ei prooviks. Ma pean kyll oma CV d putitama ja voib olla yhtkoma teist juurde õppima ja paberied hankima jne, Ja ma pean kuskil võimaluse saama kaa... eks näis mis saama hakkab....

Angeelika saab oma raha ka :) Ma nägin Angeelikat ja Katat unes, Me vannitasime last...liinibussis :D Täna ta helistas, hea meel oli kuulda tast.  Skypeta on elu nats harjumatu... Ja ma näen septembri lõpus Neid uuesti Eestis.  Ja ma inspekteerisin mingeid monumente ka surnu aias, nagu Riia maantee omades... Nii et elu ja surm


september 03, 2009

Artlust arutlust

Las Tulevik tooob...arutust? :D:D:D
Arutust ehk Aruvabadust ?
Ma olen naljakas ka :))
tegelikult, Wyatt ütles et ma üleanalüüsin asju aga ma ei saa sinna mitte midagi parata. Seee oli siis kui me perest rääkisime, perest kui sellisest. Et miks Ameerikas ja tal hoiab pere kokku ja Eestis ollakse suhteliselt hajali. Ei saada läbi ja tehakse omi asju. Vaevalt et koik asjad korras on aga suheldakse. Mul on selline tunne et siin on paljud pered löhkised. Osad inimesed ei taha teistega tegemist teha , vanad vaenud ja värgid. Aga ma saan öelda ka et see oleneb inimestest. Ega ma ise parem pole olnud aga ma saan emaga läbi ja tema juurde ma lähen kyll törkumata. Isaga on nii ja naa. Nyyd on veits parem läbisaamine. Reeglina mulle ei istu et ma pean kellegagi läbi saama selle pärast et pean, et pere peab olema koos ja häppi. Ma pean tundma et ma tahan selle inimese juurde minna, ja see söltub paljudest faktoritest. Ega ma isa muuta ei saa, siis, ma olen see kes ma olen ja lasen tal olla see kes ta on. Viimane jutujamine yks osa oli kyll tüüpiline, a la see habe ei sobi sulle, võiks laiem olla, aga tülli me eiläinud. Juu mul on paksem nahk on. Pärast öde ytles, et tal oli hea meel et ma rääkima tulin

Igastahes, mul oleks tegelt arutust vaja, arutlust on kyll olnud.
Muidu ma ei armu kunagi hullult ära, sellist kus teha midagi meeletut.
vaid ratsionaliseerin köik ära. Mis armastust see on?, armastus on tundeline nagu metsik jögi
vähemalt see esimene faas....armastus on ka ideaalis muutmatu ja igikestev. mitte just inim oma igakord. Mingi itaalia vana söna käis nii et Igavene (inim) armastus kestab kaks :D aastat :)

ja ma olen idikas laenates, Tiina sõnavara et, ma lasin oma arvuti katki minna Wyatti juures,  kõvaketas (mitte emaplaat) tuleb välja vahetada, veekahjustus. oh happy day ;)
ja ma pidin ta elioni kaa viima, mul järelmaksukas
aga paar tonni liskulu kuus. i love it, really :P

august 31, 2009


Oli Vahva töeliselt vahva, kuigi päev oli vihmane ja mu arvuti hangus Wyatti juures ülesse ja siis
ma olin jälle kärbes seinal, tunnistajaks teise pere suhete draamale. Rääkisin Wyattiga tema suhtest ja tööst jaa maast ja ilmast. Enda omast ka ja eelmisest suhtest.Ja siis me üritasime, mina vähemalt, olla jutuvestja, ja rääkida lugusid et Kristjan ei mängiks PSP ga ainult ega läheks vihma kätte, istusime trepil ja rääkisime jutte ja siis siperkangelaste teema ka. Kui sa oleks super kangelane kes sa siis oleks? Mängeldes. Õnneks jäi vihm järele hiljem Ta on siiski hea isa ja saab oma pojaga hästi läbi, vähemalt praegu ja näiliselt. Vahel me tögame üksteist ja väikselt närvidele käime aga tal pole muidu häda midagi.

LÕpuks tulid nad kõik, Riina ja Kristian ka Nabili juurde. algul vist sellist plaani polnud.
Aga noh vaat mis juhtuda võib, ma vaid oma mahaunustatud dushigeeli ja deodorandi järgi läksin ju, algul pid Wyatt Kristianiga tegelema ja siis ta ütles et vb ta tuleb. Lõpuks tulid teised ka :) Äkki oli mingi plaan ;) et ma unustaksin selleks oma ajad maha, et lõpuks Wilsonid Nabili juurde tuleks ;)
Nad ise muidugi tulid :)

Meil oli tore õhtu Nabili juures. rohkem small talk baasil aga see on ka vahelduseks hea.
Ja siis me läksime Nabili,Dani, Adrienne, Tiina ja Tiiaga Nightteacap'ile Reval Cafe'sse Vanalinnas. Ja me rääkiseme ka Noorteseminari minevikust ja tulevikust ja muid asju ka näiteks mis USA linn keegi oleks.
Mulle sattus Chicago :) pidi olema organiseeritud ehitatult linn, millel on tume pool ja toidukultuur:) midagi sarnast heh veits :)
Ma oleks võinud rohkem yks yhele juttu puhuda, kohati ma tegin seda aga rohkem nagu kommentaarid yldjutule. Teinekord..

ja kui me minema asutasime läbi Vihma, taas :)
ma plätudes ja õhukeses riietuses ja jopes, nagu pärnakas ikka.
Mõtlesin et huvitav mida vastutulijad arvata võivad :D aga ma ei põe see pärast.

ööbisin Nabili juures ja me rääkisime pikalt ja laialt, minu limbostaatusest ja vaadetest enne ja pärast suhtelõppu perioodi.

Järgmine päev hommikustasin Nabiga, ta nõustas mind karjäärivalikul ja soovitas midagi ette võtta kiiremini :),
ja siis veetsin 3 tundi umbes kvaliteetaega oma õe Lindaga, rääkisime veidi Rootsist, bahaidest, religioonidest, perekonnast, sugulastest, tööst ja peresuhetest ja maailmast, filmidest, poliitikast, Vabaduseristist, etc tema atekas Kadriorus :) Mul oli hea meel teda näha :) taas :)

ja siis hakkasin Ma pärnusse Tulema, algul mõtlesin et lähen bussi, ja hiljem sõitsin Rongijaama ja siin tsuhh-tsuhh läbi Eesti Pärnusse. Ja ma nägin vikerkaart :)
kõik muu on eelmises postituses :)

Mis toimub????

On kuningas täna ülal
narrina käib mööda tube
ta veider tunne
arvata seda ei osand
soovist mis sündinud eile
igatsus oootamatu
istub hinges
suu tõrgub, haaramas toru
õige see või väär
ikka vasardab peas
geograafiline vahemaa
eksida ei soovi
toru käib hargile
üles ja alla
dramaatiliselt, valimas numbrit
rääkida sooviks
ujedus sees
kuis mõtled sest
?Kas arm on see?
Tundsin sust puudust
ikkagi ei osanud arvata
igatsust ei osanud oodata
nagu sõltuvus oleks sees
aa, mis toimub, poisike (ja kes siis veel?)

Pärnu 30-31.08.09õ

Come what may...jah võibolla ei ole kyll kõik see nagu ma kujutan ette ja võib olla ei tule sest midagi välja. Viimastel päevadel st eelmise nädala jooksul kaevasin üles Moulin Rouge soundtracki kasseti ja ma olen seda mitu päeva kuulanud.Ja ma leidsin aegunäinud Tallinna perioodil saadud filmiplakati(mille mu eks-korteriomanik ykskord tahtis ära visata, leidsin ta kord paberikorvist ja muidugi ma võtsin ta taas üles ja panin ta seinale tagasi). Nagu ka see kord. Mitte et see identselt minu lugu oleks ja olema saab. Moulin Rouge on pisut Romeo ja Julialik, ja minu eelmine suhe oli ka Romeo ja Julialik. Eri põhjustel ja teise nurga alt aga pisut Romeo ja Julialik siiski. Tulevik??
Ja ma jalutan täna tänaval ja siis tuleb meelde Vse mogut Koroli... ja ma mäletan ennast Moskvas väiksena kuulamas seda raadiost, sellisest kandilisest kastikujulisest,peal lainepikkusedja linnade nimed, lamamas voodis, ma ei mäleta kui vana ma olin, aga see laul ja hetk on mul tänaseni meeles... ne mozhet ni odin, ni odin korol...

Ok , ma ei saa ennast veel kõikide veel laulujuppidega ennast samastada, veel, ja võib olla mitte
aga millegagi lõpuks. igaljuhul on midagi lahti, ma ei tea kuidas seda nimetada, aga kui te oleks mind eile näinud siis rahulikust minast polnud grammigi sel hetkel

Ok, mu arvuti sai niiskust põhjast ka ja nüüd on ta paranduses(imelikul kombel vana IBM kuidagi töötab aga mitte täielikult, ja ma olen vähem internetis, aga siin ma olen, saan raamatukogus arvutit kasutada. Veits väsinud sest sain magada ca 6 tundi, ise ärkasin üles. olin 3ni umbes ylal, ostsisin yhte teatud numbrit, käisin nagu kass ümber palava pudru telefoni juures, valisin ja enne vastuvõttu katkestasin ja hangusin nagu mu arvuti yleeile. Siis Ma sain oma vana arvuti tööle, seadistasin pisut et pääseda internetti, mis mul lühidalt õnnestus. ju mul on siis kommunikatsiooni vajadus hoopis või siis sõltuvus ga tavaliselt olen ma rahulikum. pärast rahunesin pisut vaatasin filmi ja jäin magama. aga kommunikatsiooni vajadus on ikka veel alles ja see tunne ka, tõeline või ajutine eks tulevik näitab? suhelda oleks ka hea :) äkki ma kujutan seda ette, ja on ainult sümpaatia, sümpaatia on kindlalt ja huvi ka..
Kui ma poleks veits väsinud ytleksin et mul on palavik, aga haige ma vist pole.

las tulevik toob arutust
ja i better shape up....:)

august 29, 2009

YouTube - Born To Be Mild (Born To Be Wild Parody)

YouTube - Born To Be Mild (Born To Be Wild Parody)

Haha, this partially so meeeee :D

Thinking Thin King

I read portion of FIG about change and friendships or relationships to be affected in course of becoming Bahai, this applies other communites and changes as well. Sure its going to be affected, it was then and and it will be. Again. I will keep my frienships even now in these being between times. Id like to ceep both companies like they are now, but i know there will be a dilemma. Beeing treated nicely though so far. and being loved no matter what too :) Like Parent or friend or really realy loving girl accepting you who are and loving the way you are. Almost of course, none of us is really perfect, but i will give my effort. And indeed whatever you do and your friends do is going to affect you. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good and you will not be same. Like the friend of mine who raises gay son and stands by him even if some of her ex-friends dont understand. We dont even most accepting cant fathom the situation, because we are neither in their shoes, we can just be tolerant to idea, of someone choosing different path. As they say in God idea universe only God can really judge people. If there is God of course. Not sure. There is something out there, But as its said if God didnt exist, then we should invent him :).

only thing that this world, human nature is blessed with at least two sides to every story. dilemma is like natural part of us. mind and body.religion adds to it soul of course :)
i know that they are linked, but yet separate. and they are nessesary. gotta find balance. peace of mind or fece of mind :)

have you got the feeling that you dont know what to do, which way to go, confusion, been drawn to several directions. like swan, pike and crawfish :)
well welcome to my world.

i usually live day by day, but keep thinking what if next relationship will be like. dont want to be it the same, riddled by same mistakes.
or sometimes i wonder should i go to into relationships from now on. yet im human being, being alone and spending some quality time with own self is fine. I like it and saviour it. Yet its fun to be people, regardless of gender, to talk to exchange too. we are social beings, and sooner or later crave for companionships in all forms. we want to be noticed, talked to, admired, loved too :) We can say that i write this blog just for own, but deep down its a message in bottle tossed into ocean of existence. Hoping to be found also :)

yet we know, that we are also driven by self interest even if our effort to be altruisious is genuine in our search for partner , love, friendships, or helping others out. we work this way too :) in fact helping others is also selfish too, because if everything and especially your friends influence you, then it is in your own self interest to help others :) so that world around you would not be pain in ass place to live , not just for you, but for your children.

do we know what we really really want? kinda...but there is loong way to go
i know that at times i want to be naughty yet i want at times the rules, and i feel drawn to bahais back.
minus some issues that is. dilemma eternal or at least till end our days :)
i just know that each part of being human want what belongs to it. nature calls for body, and reasoning and philosophical metaphysical drive for mind and soul( those two in idea of religion are connected.) And Mind drives body too. I think that most sexiest part of body is brain, cause it is commanding post for body) Say something wise or you or show me your that you question things, and this attracts my attention.:D
at least even if i dont go physical with person , that person will have respect in my eyes. but i am tolerant too, each person is smart in something. they dont need to be wise my way. And I appreciate also if someone is driven by heart approach. Im fact this is what i liked about Kadri, she is sweet person, caring, never mind the bad sides :) and i will see her way for rest of my existance :)

I want it all and cant help it. its in our nature, to want it all. thankfully there is reason to help to figure it out, yet at same time it makes things really complicated... aaaaagh. but we have to live with it :)

life will go on....nevertheless

august 28, 2009

Madonna booed in Bucharest for defending Gypsies - omg! news on Yahoo!

Facebook | Khaled Al-Assi: "('It has been brought to my attention ... that there is a lot of discrimination against Romanies and Gypsies in general in Eastern Europe,' she said. 'It made me feel very sad.'
Thousands booed and jeered her.
A few cheered when sh...e added: 'We don't believe in discrimination ... we believe in freedom and equal rights for everyone.' But she got more boos when she mentioned discrimination against homosexuals and others.)
(Madonna's outrage touched a nerve in Romania, but it seems doubtful it will change anything, said the Soros Foundation's Motoc.
'Madonna is a pop star. She is not an expert on interethnic relations,' he said.)

WTF, is wrong with those people. She has to be expert on interethnic relations to say that it makes her very sad to see or hear about discrimination :D ????????? Like she comes from Mars... Madonna can be bold, liberal and provocative, but she is human being and i like she said what she said this time. You go, girl :)

Read more
Madonna booed in Bucharest for defending Gypsies - omg! news on Yahoo!

august 27, 2009

homeward bound

nd feeeling much better :)


Was and still in Eeyore mood a still:

Who is he see:
"Eeyore is a favorite amongst most admirers of Winnie the Pooh characters and he is an unbelievably loveable donkey who is dismally gloomy for almost eternity. But that’s not Eeyore’s perception of himself, according to him; he doesn’t expect too much of himself and therefore remains quiet for most of the time. That in no ways means he isn’t an intelligent animal, he is actually quite knowledgeable yet he confines his knowledge to himself. This is the reason why he is very quiet most of the time and a bit depressed. Eeyore, a very gloomy, blue-gray donkey, is stuffed with sawdust. His appearance is highlighted by a small light pink bow on his tail; this reflects well on this animal when there is an occasional hint of joy that surfaces in Eeyore

Eeyore has very little expectations from his friends and therefore wherever there is an occasion where his friends gather around his to help him, his thoughts of receiving the worst are dismissed and he has a feeling of being grateful to them. Eeyore’s biggest problem is when his tail falls off and that happens frequently (he has lost it many times). And this is where his friends help him the most and amongst all friends Christopher Robin is the one who mostly undertakes the job of fixing Eeyore’s tail. Christopher uses a drawing pin to reattach the tail. Owl once mistook Eeyore’s tail for being a bell-pull. He shall often pretend that he is helping his friends in their time of need because he has nothing better to do but that in no way means he is unwilling to help, Eeyore is always ready to lend a helping hand to his friends."

He is in many ways like me. I dont know , i just want to be sad too. do you get the feeling that nobody really wants to be with you at times, things are not working out, and youre back at reality? where most people care about themselves, nice guys finish last and youre doomed to carry on faulty gene, that gives your children chance to be handicapped in society that worships healthy and perfect ones...
ok not beeen the nicest you know all the time...but you know what i mean...

Song list that goes with feelings
Nice guys finish last by Green Day
Boulevard of Broken dreams - Green day
Hey You-Pink Floyd
Well and bit better one
Coldpay- Fix YOU :)

august 23, 2009

swdedish post

hej Sverige :)
Olen hetkel Undeni järve lahedal, Tivedeni piirkonnas, mille lähim linn on Laxa(Lakso) Örebrost edelas, mis on 275 km Stockholmist metsade keskel.
NÄdal hakkab tais saama,ja eilne vÄhipidu ja synna on ka labi. Homme Uppsala :)
ja siis Stockholm. Ja siis Baltic Queen ja koju :) Tallinn, nats seal ja Koju :)
Wyatti sÕbra Roberti pere on joviaalne, kylalislahke ja vahva. Nalja on saanud. parasjagu koike. Ja eilne synna oli ikka veits sootuks erinevat. Skandinaavalased voivad olla reserveeritud aga laulda ja pidutseda oskavad nad ikka kyll korralikult.
Rootsi on parajalt kirju struktuuriga maa ja Orebro tanavapilt oli veits erinev. kuigi mitte vaga. ainuke erand on eri rahvuste ja riietumisviiside erinevus. moslemi naisi oli naha, somaali omasid. ja ka peol ka mitmeid eri inimesi. Vahva oli.

august 18, 2009

Pärnust ja Angeelikast; Tallinnasse

Kalevite Kants on kivi viske kaugusel ja ma istun LindaLiini kohvikus ja tõmban hinge. Nagu ikka ma ei maganud piisavalt, ja siis ma kirjutasin blogis ja FB-s. Ja sõitsime Kata ja Anxuga Rongiga Tallinna rataste rappudes. Aitasin Katat. nüüd on naad taas Soomemaale läinud.Hakkan pisikest igatsema ... aga ma näen teda jälle millalgi. loodetavasti pealegi ma sain teda 2 nädalat näha,:)

Is it true mängib raadios jälle, see Islandi eurolaul, mis nii lahkumineku ajaks Eurol ilma tegi.
jah ka see laul on lahkuminekust, saatuse iroonia et see laul ja laulja kaa meeldis mulle väga peale Rändajaid ja Türgi tantsijaid...

aga see selleks...
las rännak algata, täna on uus päev ja ma veedan aega Wyattiga :)

Let the Journey begin

Each journey starts from first step :)

I will embark soon at dawn, go north and then move westwards :)
Soon i will say Hej! well at next Dawn...

A virgin territory :))

A revanche :)

Not going to forget passport or ticket like 1998
before trip to Focusing all Efforts :)

I was walking with Nabil day or two before trip with briefcase inside passport and ticket. and i neede to tie my shoes, so i did, putting bc at the street, tied my laces, sttod up and continued walking and talking Nabil until ...iremembered....
where is my briefcase :)) hehe. its funny now but not then,
i can be so professorlike...out of this times
anyways i found the brief, after rathere quriouus attempt to ask security guy at then Tallinna Bank which became Banco Unione and now SEB to show mw the tape, did i or didnt forget my case at ATM room, i got to know in Pärnu, while other where at conference that someone took it to Viru Hotel :D
but not this time i hope, i will go with Wyatt to vist his freind and see liitle bit
of Svearige :)

august 16, 2009

Historical theme photos from Pärnu :D

Inimeselugu-Juhan Viiding

Surub nurka inimene ennast,
kas ta üldse enam imestab?
Kas ta mõtleb,
mis on saanud vennast?
Ja et valgus silmi pimestab?
Kuidas saame oma vaatenurgast
näha täiust?
Nürinurga alt? Anna andeks!
Oma hingenurgast ma ei valgustanud piisavalt.
Meil on kiire! Mõelgem selle peale!
Selles ilmas ei saa harjuda!
Teeme terveks oma murtud hääle!
Siis saab vaikselt APPI KARJUDA!

Vaimuelu- Juhan Viiding

Haa- see on tabav luuletus praeguseks.
sellega meenub kui ma ei leidnud õigel ajal kadunud Brigitte Lundblade kasseti pealt Bahai 19.PP vaimse osa jaoks pala mis ta soovis et ma makis mängiks
aga mul oli valmis see luuletus yhe Jüri Lina luulelavastuse kasseti peal.
ja otseselt kurja tahtmata mängisin vist osade hämmastuseks ette. Ei ma ei vaadanud nende nägusid, aga seda nad ei oodanud vist. Juhan Viidingut Bahai pühakirjadele inspireeritud palade asemel :) pärast loeti sõnad peale, igaks juhuks ja Valguskiires ilmusid juhendused.


Mismoodi on su vaimu seis?
ei seisa nigu.
kas tõstab pead ta ükskord meis
kui väike tigu?

kas tõuseb ta kui päikene
kui lõpeb öö
ja olles suur või väikene
teeb vaimse töö?

Või läheb mustaks mure läbi
Nii et on tuhat aastat häbi

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't."

Falling into grace

Bridge over troubled water

For all of my friends of both genders, old and new, i have had and have and will have in my life :)
i hope that i can be there for you, at least i try. Havent been always, but you know
where to find me... ill be around :)

When youre weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
Im on your side. when times get rough
And friends just cant be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When youre down and out,
When youre on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
Ill take your part.
When darkness comes
And pains is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
Im sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

august 15, 2009

Lastekodulastest-About orphans

Pole ise olnud, aga hinge lähevad sellised lood...

Ja teper ne sirota
I m no longer orphan,

its a story about girl who been left to orphange, gets to know about mom and wants revenge, she grows up being "difficult" child, but loves animals. she makes friends with girl, who later in life helps her to turn her life around, she becomes Christian, and she even forgives mother...

väikesed käed kirjutavad liivale
emake pai tule mulle järele
ma ootan nii väga sind
mis jaoks küll hülgasid mind
kas sa siis oma last
ei armastada saa
armastada ei saa..

mul ei ole oma tuba
enda juurde sa ei luba
kelle oma olen mina
kui mul sind ei ole
kas siis olen kõigi oma
lastekodus elan praegu
kuid ma tean et tuleb aeg mil
ema mind hellitab hoiab ja kallistab
ema koju mind vii..

öö otsa ma mõtlen millal tulla saad
haigeks kas jäid
või ehk teed ei leia sa
kes saab küll aidata mind
kes teab kus viibida võid
kas sa siis oma last
ei armastada saa
armastada ei saa..

mul ei ole oma tuba
enda juurde sa ei luba
kelle oma olen mina
kui mul sind ei ole
kas siis olen kõigi oma
lastekodus elan praegu
kuigi tean et tuleb aeg mil
ema mindhellitab hoiab ja kallistab
ema koju mind vii

miks on see nii
kas te võite ütelda
lapsi ei saa ju lille pähe kinkida
mis jaoks neid emad maha jätavad
mis jaoks need lapsed öösel nutavad
kas sa siis oma last
ei armastada saa
armastada ei saa

white label - köikide laps

Whats the colour of my skin


What is the color of my skin?
if I tell you
will that determine the person I am?
If so then maybe for today
I am pink, red, green, or gray.
I am for the most part the same as you
When I am sad then I am blue.
If I call you my sister or brother,
does that have to reflect a certain color?
Our covering is a gift from the Divine,
so are you mocking this gift of mine?
Instead of judging by what you see
why don't you try looking at the inner me,
if the color of my skin
determines the person I am,
then I am invisible to you
for I am who I am.

-Mea Leann

august 13, 2009

Angeeelika- isaga draakonil :)

Angeelika has been around for a last week in home and hopital and she is happy little girl, running around and playing hide and seek with her Dad ie me. oh youve just gotta see her.
youd fall in love with her cuteness, smile. way she palys hide and seek, way she manages to stand while walking backWARDS, SOMEtimes even running, like she would have eyes on her back :)
when i was trying to give her piece of sandwitch, she took it ate it and poked with food at her hand, one piece sandwhich . i asked ishe wanting to feed me :D she just pokes food at my food with her little hand and laughs :))
she is dear to me :) She ate more a bit, but still holds food at mouth

Lyrics to Isaga Draakonil by Dagö:

Tahan, et mu prillid pole seks, et peita tühje silmi
vaid et hoopis paremini valgust vaadata
kui mu tütar jälgib mind kui veidrat õppefilmi
hea kui päris kõik ei tuleks välja lõigata

Kauni aia leian kus soovida soove
laia aia ja viinamäe
alla majja saadab mind kuu öö poole
sängi laia uinun ja näen kui`s me sõidame
isaga draakonil
kroonid peast rebib tuul
me ei hooli, me kuningad ikkagi
pungil purjed me draakonil
me eebenist draakonil
täna tuju tal hea, saab veel suhkrut me käest
ja me naerame
kui me lendame
üle lainete
isaga draakonil

On õues igatsust ja on keskpärakondi
võib olla õnnelik või sappi lärmata
pea meeles poeg , kui valid endal ülikondi
nad vahel selga sulle võivad kärvata

august 12, 2009

IF by R. Kipling


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Loooking for....

Im confused a bit. Thing is what should i do? I kinda started to like life i had previous 2 years, minus bad stuff, bad emotions. Doing what i want, well doing almost what i want, that is. Some of family thought that i was doing too much my ex-s bidding, well i was at somethings. But generally, i was doing what i wanted.
i meaan every day life. I could do always more, learn something new, break routine, sing , write etc
Thing is that now that im out of relationship, i do also what i want. Confusing...ok
HERE is the thing, After Viljandi Folk i have felt that i want to reconnect with my faith people and faith. Me rational guy...well i guess one ist that rational always..
Do i have to be? No...If i want to be religious again, so be it.
of course there are questions, but there is clear wish to reconnect. I guess i have to make up my mind soon. I could out of comfort continue as i am, keeping it inner thing, minding my own business, doing still what i want like last two years or gradually come to returning the rivers of belief.
with all that entails. that means standing out on b-days etc. but if i want to go that way, and there is wish, there ignoring and stopping it is self-limiting too..

Mind over matter? Why there is such split between heart and mind at the times?
though i like the puzzles and to be human too

august 03, 2009

Kamikaze Good Circle

We went to have a Night Cap(Nabs Idea) after Asian food and stroll and ended up to go to Kamikaze
I need to try socialize more, i felt im not adequate enough to describe people compared to Dan(really, my literalistic eloquence is ok, but i could do more) or others, its like you think you cam express well, because you write, but then when you go to deliver your piece orally, you may choke or stumble, unless youre good at talking.

Dead meat

Dead meat of derailed train
or how I took train to home :)

wen trough Saku-Rapla-Lelle-Tootsi-Tori then Pärnu
it was scary bit, it was rocking and when it was at higher tempo i was wondering that if somebody threw a bomb, id be dead meat :D and train derailed
but it was different , why take busses all the time?
i liked scenery, and i saw estonia outside my usual trajector
i think its worth of repeat
until a dead meat hahaha

A marriage for a day, where you come from or Khal's Funny day moments

Morning started, when i woke up at Loode house and there it was, odd thing, black top laying across at floor near toilet near my door. It was female clothing. It turned out to be with holes. or so it looked like hehe, i thought myself, i didnt see it last night. i jokingly thought what others may think finding this near my door hehe. Later Helmi told me that they joked that maybe i brought somebody with me hehe. knowing my history hehe..Rita said its sport bra and top?? later it came out it one of their guests cloth, it fell out of somewhere when they arrived that night. mystery solved

I approach lookout platform and watch at old town, sitting first , waiting looooots
of tourists to clear a view. So iget there, i hear some young men aproaching people
asking "Do you want to experience what its to be married for a day?" :D
youll get cerificate, ring etc. hehe
and the later did kissing part and shouted gorko.

i leave platform head towards Cathedral i meet dark guy standing at corner around finnish embassy. he asks me, where you come from...i said ´from there... ..he said no mean from bacground? yeah he said. and he was gloomy bit, i said i live in Estonia, he said nägemist what....go figure wierd...i thought whatever...
walked on

august 01, 2009

From album Twelve Shots On The Rocks '03

From album Twelve Shots On The Rocks '03
In the real dark night of the soul
It's always 3 a.m.
It's always darkest before the dawn
It never dawned on me
At my weakest I'm pretending to be strong
Sometimes the demons are too hard to control

(Chorus) In my darkest moment
Something takes me over makes me turn a cold shoulder
In my darkest moment
I need a revalation, divine illumination to come my way
Just when I thought I was me It just wasn't me t-talkin'

And the last one that I never wanna hurt
Stood right in my way
Hating is easy and loving takes real character
Love ain't in fashion in this hard stone cold hearted world

(The pain, the grief, the agony...)

Let some light come my way...

aprill 12, 2009

Finnish Islamic Party at protest against Oksanens book Kaiken takana on pelko and Estonia

27 March 2009 at 06:17
I was bit suprised that when I was watching news about this book presentation, they mentioned that Finnish Islamic Party(didnt know about that)joined protest with our usual Nashi-Night Watch-Anti Fascist Movement. I recently dived into sites critical of islam, and found out that there is Nazi link via Hitlers Mufti.I`ve stumbled upon mentions of some arab politicians Nazi symphaties before as well of balkan muslim brigade that sided with Nazis. But when i found this on AIM that Former Grand Mufti of Jerusalem al- Husseini had a deal with Hitler, that made things to be seen in different perspective than i ve known before. And that nazi imprint on islam and middle east history makes this following and stance against this book and against so called Nazi Estonia by these bearded Islamists a joke. but as i saw on youre site that they have taken pro-Putinist Russia side before, then this wierd alliance at the book presentation protest makes sensesFinnish IP announcements on "facsist" "racist" country of Estonia and last but not least( in english) ally of "satanic" Bush led USA in Iraq war case. not that I like what Bush did,but these guys are something ;) ( you can google translate it) reason why they would be more against Estonia is i think were troops in Iraqi soil, as this abovementioned link says, which is more logical agenda)Though not happy, cause even though things arent always rozy in Estonia between two communites and sure goverment has made mistakes. But Estonia and all over Nazi.state is a an overstatment. I personally dont have anything againts Russians or Jews just because they are Russians or Jews. Some of my friends are Russians and ive met people from Jewish or part Jewish backgound, and their heritage is okay to me. Bakery where i work there is no deal usually wheter someone is of Russian/Slavic or Estonian backround, whatters is work. Of course political touchy points are not always talked, but general climate IMO seems cordial and respectful. If anything the Slavic people themselves and different personalities are what clash in my workplace. One woman from Belarus said to me that she would send those other Russians out of country hehe. Relations between Russians or Russian speaking and Estonians might not be as polite everywhere, but i think it depends on people if they want to get along or not. if i have problem then its about whether people have acted criminally or they dont really want to see that WW2 didnt end to Estonians as happily as some other nations. Its seems to me that though WW2 and Soviet Union And Nazi Germany is history, the shadow of those times is still upon us...And I dont understand why FIP is claiming that Moslems are persecuted in Estonia.If average Estonian would not fully agree to their life style, but they ( a small minority in estonias religious market, mostly of Tatar origin)can still operate on organiztion level its hardly a discrimination BY state. There was attempt to start to build mosque in Capital, Tallinn, but due to differences on opionion in islamic community and project not really being welcomed by everyone in Estonia, they remain mosqueless today See Islam in Estonia are the links that mention THIS book presentationevent: is an "interesting" fellaJohan Bäckman are im sure morebut i will call today a night, hope these links were helpfulYoursKhaled

Hitlers Mufti; Nazis and Soviet cooperation

What do Communism and Islam has in common with Third Reich

11 March 2009 at 06:35
Cooperation with Nazi Germany prior and in case of Mohammed "Haj" Amin Al-Husseini, the former Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, (he met Hitler)during the WW2!I am not kidding or making it up! Nazi and Communist Collaboration In Germany During the Decade Preceding Hitler's "Third Reich"[1923-1933]April 22, 2008Nazi and Communist Collaboration In Germany During The Decade Preceding Hitler's "Third Reich" [1923-1933]By Emerson Vermaat April 22, 2008 - San Francisco, CA - - "The extremes touch" is a well known saying and quite often it is true. Today, leftist Socialists and Marxists join radical Muslims or "Islamists" in what they perceive as the common struggle against the United States and the West. One of the best friends of the extremist Iranian president Ahmadinejad is Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, a radical Socialist who wants to follow the example of Cuba's Fidel Castro. This is the same Ahmadinejad who is a "Holocaust denier" who invites neo-Nazis and other Fascist Holocaust deniers to conferences in Tehran. Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood, two important branches of today's radical Islam, espouse the anti-Semitic conspiracy theories of the so-called "Protocols of the Wise Men (or Elders) of Zion." Ahmed Sheikh Yassin, the co-founder of Hamas, had an Arab translation of the "Protocols" on his desk when he was writing the Hamas Charter. 1 It is not coincidental, therefore, that the same charter specifically refers to the Protocols. Sheikh Yassin was also a strong admirer of a virulent Jew-hater whose name was Mohammed "Haj" Amin Al-Husseini, the former Grand Mufti of Jerusalem who had been granted asylum by the Nazis in 1941 and who spent the war years in Berlin where he actively promoted the Nazi cause.2 The "Protocols of the Wise Men of Zion" were very popular in Hitler's "Third Reich." Nazi Party philosopher Alfred Rosenberg was born in Czarist Russia (actually he was born in Latvia which was then part of Russia) and it was this Baltic German who in 1918 took the text of the Protocols from Russia to Germany introducing it to his extreme rightist friends from the Thule Society in Munich. It was from this obscure group that the Nazi Party would evolve around 1920. Heinrich Himmler, the notorious SS-Reichsführer, had a strong admiration for Eastern religions and Islam. He often talked to his friend Haj Amin Al-Husseini, and it was during the war that the SS ran several "imam schools" in Nazi Germany. Himmler admired Muslims because they did not mind dying in battle.3 See more: this siteabout Amin Al-Hussaini timeline bio couple of videos showing Hitler meeting mufti in Fitna moviesection of on one Australian based islamist Monitor sitesee section called the Nazi connection! muslim reading this, beware, these sites are critical in nature! but as you are grown ups, you should know that nobody is always completely on your side when it comes to views and beliefs.I personally feel that this casts new and different light on thatthere is more than one guilty party when it comes to ww2 and middle eastcrisis history....and its not only nazis and jews. Speaking of Nazi Soviet cooperation, there is intrigiuing movie made by Latvianscalled The Soviet story, that highlights that cooperation before Nazis turned against Soviets.the whole Polands occupation by both should make Soviet claim as noble fighter of Nazis and liberator of tyranny, hypocricy loaded. Movie shows actual parade by both sides together after Poland was done! and many more "wonderful" stuff about dark side of Soviet Union and what similarities they shared with Nazis all the way back toKarl Marx himself. Afterall, known in also as fascism, the party was called National Socialist German Workers Party, in beginning just German Workers Party. Only differncethat one was later after Jews and other "uńfit" minorities and communists=socialistswhen after class enemies of proletariat. By the way did you know that Marx advocated holocaust of some nations: IDEOLOGICAL ORIGINS OF GENOCIDE“In January 1849, months before he migrated to London, Karl Marx published an article by Friedrich Engels in Die Neue Rheinische Zeitung announcing that in Central Europe only Germans, Hungarians and Poles counted as bearers of progress. The rest must go. “The chief mission of all other races and peoples, large and small, is to perish in the revolutionary holocaust.” Genocide arose out of Marx’s master-theory of history — feudalism giving place inevitably to capitalism, capitalism to socialism. The lesser races of Europe — Basques, Serbs, Bretons and others — being sunk in feudalism, were counter-revolutionary; having failed to develop a bourgeoisie, they would be two steps behind in the historical process. Engels dismissed them as left-overs and ethnic trash (Voelkerabfall), and called for their extinction. So genocide was born as a doctrine in the German Rhineland in January 1849, in a Europe still reeling from the revolutions of 1848. It was to become the beacon light of socialism, proudly held and proudly proclaimed.” The above is a quote from the latest article by George Watson — a literary historian specializing in the early history of socialism (I have an earlier article of his posted here and there is a review of his major book here). The quote is taken from an article in the December 2004 issue of Quadrant, Australia’s premier intellectual conservative magazine. The article will not be online for a month or so yet but I have temporarily posted here and here a PDF of the first page.SO THE TWO MONSTERS ARE MORE SIMILAR, THAN THEY PRETENDED LATER NOT TO BE!aNOTHER PAGE THIS TIME MENTIONING A SCHOCKER: fAMOUS PLAYWRIGRTg.B.sHAW TO INVENT HUMANE GAS FRO DOING AWAY WITH USELESS PPL!!!"Years later, in February 1938, Bernard Shaw sent Beatrice a letter, contemplating Hitler's anti-Jewish program. Whatever Hitler's faults, he told her, we must assert "the right of states to make eugenic experiments by weeding out any strains they think undesirable", though he hoped their methods, at least, would be humane. Indeed in a newspaper he called on scientists to invent a humane gas."hISTORY IS STRANGER THAN FICTION'

Serious Health Condition of an Imprisoned Baha’i
April 11, 2009
As previously reported by Iran Press Watch (, a young Baha’i of Shiraz was arrested on March 18, 2009, under inexplicable circumstances.The following report was filed by Human Rights Activists of Iran in Persian earlier today and appears below in translation:

aprill 11, 2009

Marillion-Estonia lyrics
Feeling you shake
Feel your heart break
Thinking if only, if only, if only, if only
And the salt water runs
Through your veins and your bones
Telling you no not this way, not this way, not this way
And you would give anything
Give up everything
Offer your life blood away
For yesterday

No one leaves you
When you live in their heart and mind
And no one dies
They just move to the other side
When we're gone
Watch the world simply carry on
We live on laughing and in no pain
We'll stay and be happy
With those who have loved us today

Finding the answer
It's a human obsession
But you might as well talk to the stones and the trees and the sea
'Cause nobody knows
And so few can see
There's only beauty and caring and truth beyond darkness

No one leaves you
When you live in their heart and mind
And no one dies
They just move to the other side
When we're gone
Watch the world simply carry on
We live on laughing and in no pain
We'll stay and be happy
With those who have loved us today

And we won't understand your grief
Because time is illusion
As this watery world spins around
This timeless sun
Will dry your eyes
And calm your mind

No one leaves you
When you live in their heart and mind
And no one dies
They just move to the other side
When we're gone
Watch the world simply carry on
It's okay, we will stay and be happy
Stay and be happy
With those who have loved us today

jaanuar 24, 2009

Another harrasment by IRI to Bahai community

Socialmessministry and crisis

Now Finally has Social Minister of Estonia announced she will step down in 22nd of Feb, before that she is asked to clear mess that started before new year to reform related to payment of support money for people with various disabilities and their levels and of delivery of pensions to retired people. You see state is cutting expenses and they have certain number of whom they will deliver the pension to home, they have turned down some, some of which have been disbaled people, those who cant or have difficulties to get their pension from bank, atm or postoffice, but some people live in places where they cant acsess easily bank or post office or they are disabled...the social minister lied that if people wit serous probalems , whose application by mistake has denies, they could appeal the decision- but it turned out that that was a lie, there was certain quota of ppl who will get pension to home via mailman. And finally Priminister said that there wasnt better person to deal with problem than current Social minister and he was just thinking whether to take her down or not. now Primeminister said that she has made mistakes, she needs to clean up her mess and step down.

And you know what I heard on radio that one paper called Videvik ( Duskor Nightfall or Twilight in English) is calling for retired to gather at front of Parliament in Toompea at 11.02 for a protest govt afraid that Riga and Vilnius will be repeated here? After all, Riga showed that peaceful demonstration can end differently...Can change of minister appease the crowd and the the Parliament windows will be unshattered? we dont know yet...but anything can happen...
maybe govt will fall too..or change...we will see...its crisis time

jaanuar 21, 2009

Obamas Inauguration

New US President inaugarated
20 January 2009 at 22:29
Le roi est mort VIVE LE ROI

Inaugural Address of Obama
NBC s Special Report: INauguration
mmmmm, very bold speech...echo of MLK I have a dream theme. but said to be fulfilled
yeah, It has, but there is still way to go
and he had better oiled campaign
and people were tired of Bush and Reps
so no wonder :D
But I ma kinda happy,
I hope that means no more stupid political faux pas
but why do i have feeling that
perhaps this is bad cop vs good cop scenario
bad cop is gone and good cop steps in..
I dont have anything agains americans per se
or any nations, its the systems Or THE SYSTEM
i am concerned about. And the system is the same IMHO

Report part mentioned also rumor of Somali terrorists suspicion somewhere in capital. but was later diminshed.

President mentioned "Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred."
Clue to The Base Group ? :)

It was pretty stong and bold an idealistic speech. But not offensive one, at least to me.
He is a good speaker and US is major player. this all affects the speech..
and he has charm....he is likable. i have keep in mind...that lets wait and see..
after all he said roughly that it may take time to better the cndition... which is good cause, ther is not such thing as overnight change...

now if i forget the option everything that conspiracies talk about him or thought that he is just figure in the game of politics of chess...he is allright guy...:)

Bad thing, its gonna be less fun with no bushisms around haha
i hope that humour industry will not die out nevertheless ;D

jaanuar 12, 2009

Palestine Question

From another blog outside blogger

"Taking sides in the conflict would not only be unwise, it would be a misreading of the debate — there are no sides to take. We can only mourn the lives that are lost and work for the promotion of trust and the abolition of prejudice."

This is loongtime goal, and while there are sides to take, it is true that that this what is happening is not working either.
But we can indeed mourn dead,
promotion of trust and abolition of prejudice is perhaps bit farway dream.

Strong economy backing the war in Gaza

Stark ekonomi backar upp kriget i Gaza
Translated thanks to google translator :D
Strong economy backing the war in Gaza
Of Per Roijer
First published: January 2, 2009 23:30 Last updated: January 3, 2009 12:44

The war against Hamas in the Gaza Strip is not a financial venture. With the experience of the war against Hezbollah in 2006 in the back, the Israeli leaders assumed that the current conflict not to harm Israel's economy.

Israel's economy is strong. After growing problem in the 1990s and a substantial decline of the millennium was reformed in the state sector. The global boom gave Israel a real shot. Many indications that the financial crisis will not hit particularly hard in Israel. - Israeli banks are conservative and not so sophisticated, it pays off, the Israeli Governor Stanley Fischer said. There are similarities between Sweden Göran Persson and the Conservative Israeli policy Benjamin Netanyahu. Both led by finance ministers of the reform of their country's economy, Persson in the 1990s and Netanyahu years 2003-2004. - You can think what you will about Netanyahu's foreign policy, but for Israel's economy, he was definitely an asset, "said Lars Christensen, chief analyst of Danske Bank in Copenhagen. - Israel carried out the Sweden made a few years earlier, "he says. Netanyahu cut sharply in public spending, introduced a tax reform, monopolies disbanded and privatized former public activities. Israel had until then had a highly state-dominated economy. Government debt was gradually reduced from 100 per cent of GDP (gross domestic product) to 60. The differences between Sweden and Israel are great, but there are striking similarities. The Israeli currency shekeln flows, the central bank sets interest rates independently (several cuts during the late autumn), the dependence on exports is large, and the industry is dominated by high technology, pharmaceuticals and IT. The latter allows Israel to an attractive partner for Swedish companies. Ericsson is dominant. The American-Israeli cooperation in the arms industry has been criticized by the left and the Green Party in Sweden.

The direct financial aid from the U.S. to Israel supports the other hand, the currency in a way that Sweden lacks, and allows shekeln been strengthened even though the country has a trade deficit. Israeli oranges are a major export product, generally, but to Sweden is the high-tech exports worth four times more than food exports (2007). It is clear that Israel will not escape the international recession, but the Bank of Israel maintains that neither the real estate bubble or unsound mortgages had an impact in the country. Any bank emergency does not arise. When the Israeli government is considering the economic risks of attacks against Hamas in Gaza, they do so in light of the previous two bloody conflicts: the attack on Hezbollah in Lebanon in 2006 and the second Intifada, which began in 2000. Of the war in Lebanon, it was feared that the economy would take proper ironing. But it was not the case. The head of the Bank of Israel Stanley Fischer said afterwards that he was surprised by the Israeli economy's resilience. According to the Bank of Israel became the country's GDP just 0.5 percent lower than it would have been if the war never took place. Much was in ruins in the north. Agriculture was a big bang and tourism störtdök - but stalk quickly. Intifada from the occupied territories five years earlier targeted a much larger blow to Israel's economy, including by terrorist acts inside Israel. Exports to the U.S. was hit simultaneously by the IT bubble burst and the subsequent economic downturn. But that was before the domestic reforms. - If the war in Gaza will not be for long, I do not think it harms the Israeli economy, "said Lars Christensen

Svenska large established in Israel Ericsson (available both in the West Bank and Israel) AstraZeneca Volvo (both trucks and passenger cars) Assa Abloy (factory in an illegal residence, forced to move since one of the AP funds threatened to sell shares) Electrolux ABB Ikea (a department store, another is planned) Alfa Laval SSAB H & M (planned introduction of several stores in 2010) Source: Swedish Trade Council

Swedish-Israeli cooperation between companies and authorities Flextronics QlikView (Data Company from Ideon in Lund, are now owned by American and Israeli capital) Defense Materiel Administration to cooperate with Israeli company Electro Optic Industries and has imported optical equipment to the JAS 39 Gripen International. Sweden also has a cooperation and an agreement with the Israeli armaments company Rafael about the possible use of Israeli weapons of JAS 39 Gripen. These include air missiles, ground weapons and reconnaissance capsules. (Advance of Left stone Alice Åström in parliament in 2004) Defense.

In 2002, Israeli military equipment were tested on Swedish soil. A driver loose plan produced by Israel Aircraft Industries, started and ended in Kiruna and flew test loops down to Vidsel and back. The plane was driven from the airport in Kiruna. According to sources within the United Nations and UNRWA, the type of plane used by Israel during the incursions in the Gaza Strip. (Advance of Green Yvonne Ruwaida in parliament in 2005) Per Roijer

Of Religious Freedom, State and Casus of Turkmenbashi

Youre wondering why I still go on and on with my interest in Religion...well its part of this world. And thus cannot be ignored...even if sometimes one wishes to pull the socket out ot of wall. Well im COOL with THAT THERE IS religion in the world. I guess my decade long involvment with Bahai Faith, partial Eastern background, curiousity , relative openmindedness and last but not least " live and let live" life philosophy makes me being okay with religion...well there are facets that i question and ppl that give me creeps, when i start thinking about them. But minus all that religion is a force to be counted in world. and i have at least now some symphathy towards religion. In fact at at times i feel appalled when someones right to believe is subject to someone elses whim or state sanctions, because Majority group or system thinks that other group is false or dangerous..Under this falls discrimination of any religious minoritys right to exist and believe what they believe. I recently saw a doc on Ruhnama and rather comical reverance that State of Turkmenistan, its citizens and religious organizations were demanded to give to lately died president Sapmurat Niyazov namedTurkmenbashi or Father of all Turks. Comical is perhaps wrong word, it is rather tragicomical, when one thinks that people had to live under this...see TURKMENISTAN: President's personality cult imposed on religious communities, published on F18News on: 1 March 2005For Ruhnama or Turkmenbashi you can either google, youtube it and see what world appers to you..And if Ruhnama is translated into your language, its thanks to may multinational enterprises that payd lipservice or sometimes even more to get business done in Turkmenistan as they paid for translation of that "holy book" of Turkmenbashi. The doc dealing with that theme is called The Shadow of the Holy Book from august 2008 on above mebtioned forum is available here Religious freedom survey, August 2008Amonst other harrasments an incident related to one Bahai is mentoned in August 2008 surveyQuote:"One arrested Baha'i was told – after the state decided in 2004 to allow religious minority communities to apply to register – that this "applies only to Sunni Islam and the Orthodox Church, while such dubious groups as yours will be thoroughly checked out with the aim of preventing any possible conflicts." President Niyazov at that time banned Muslims from registering new mosques. However, some religious minorities – such as some Protestants including Seventh-day Adventists, Bahai's and Hare Krishna devotees – have been eventually allowed to register."I really wonder what it was like to a Bahai in country where tribute to leader is reminding of idolizing like monarchs of past, a kind of like religion on its own. And one has to put Ruhnama and presidents picture in holyground or communty centre?i know that Bahais are asked to follow the laws of country and not engange in partisan politics amongst other principles. I do not know what it was like to be a Bahai there, but i assume that it was probably not easy to meet in big numbers. Maybe the Bahais on idividual level tried to find common points in Ruhnama, something they could agree to, maybe at individual level, some liked the president s person. Yeah, question is what one does if the climate of the country is challenge to you as countryman and member of minority group? At communist times there were Lenin's case that was close to that but that could be counted as pseudoireligious reverance as Mr. Turkmenbashi ordered to build a mosque upon which he decreed that that citations from Ruhnama should be written next to Koran's verses and that Ruhnama should be read by clergy. Which is step for more religious nature than of marxism-leninism-communism's faith of century, who proclaimed that religious creed is opium for the people. Yet in odd way, Communism of Soviets trying so badly to quench the religion and their idolizing of Marx, Lenin, Stalin, ideology and the state carries like religious zeal and became a kind of religion too. And then ther was of course Chaiman Mao and his little red book. But let us return to Turkmenbashi and where it started.."Although the president's cult of personality – which includes a gold statue in Ashgabad that revolves to follow the sun and a monument to the Ruhnama – began in the mid-1990s, the cult was stepped up after the publication of the first volume of the Ruhnama in 2001, which Niyazov described at the launch ceremony as a "holy book". Officials later likened it to the Koran. The second Ruhnama volume was ceremonially launched in September 2004. In 2000, one government minister claimed that the Ruhnama would make up for shortcomings in both the Bible and the Koran, neither of which were, he claimed, fully adequate for the spiritual needs of Turkmens. Controversy was stirred among Muslims when news spread last year that the Kipchak mosque – named after the president - was decorated with quotations from the Ruhnama. Indeed, to enter the main entrance of the mosque, visitors have to walk through a gateway over which is written in Turkmen: "Ruhnama is a holy book; The Koran is Allah's book". On one side of the gateway is the text of the oath of allegiance to the president carved in stone and on the other the text of the national anthem." ( 1 march 2005 article F18news)Any opposers were naturally "well taken care of" as anybody who lives in such country can probably can imagine...Quotes from article of 1 march 2005 on F18news :"One mosque was closed down by the State Security Ministry secret police for not putting the Ruhnama on the same reading stand as the Koran (see F18News 19 November 2003 One local Muslim suggested that four of the Ashgabad mosques demolished in the autumn 2004 campaign of mosque destruction were targeted because their imams refused to read the Ruhnama in their mosques (see F18News 4 January 2005 One theory as to why in January 2003 Niyazov ousted the Chief Mufti, Nasrullah ibn Ibadullah, an ethnic Uzbek who had led Turkmenistan's Muslims for the previous ten years, and had him sentenced to 22 years' imprisonment in March 2004 was his lack of enthusiasm for the campaign to promote the Ruhnama in mosques." In light of this, life can be stranger than fiction and be thankful if you stil have situation wher you are not persecuted for what you believe in..and "smile...tommorow can be worse" :Dand if you drop into youtube please check out this channel. The Turkmen Dissident TV at features news and satirical cartoons...

jaanuar 07, 2009

Fireworks in Pärnu

in Muddle eASt

This year really came with the Bangs ;) its irony, that rockets can be used both to thrill as new years and kill as in war like in MuddleEast.."happy new" war, neither happy, neither new...

jaanuar 01, 2009